The Return of Saturn Survival Kit.... What would I put in it???

"Gasp!"  And there comes my head out of water - I'm back!

I went to a festival last night and while I walked past security who were giving out wrist bands for those who wanted to drink alcohol I said "No I'm fine thanks" and one of the guards said "You look drunk already..." to which I said "No it's just been one of those days!"  That moment is how I would have to sum up my Return of Saturn experience thus far (and probably what the whole experience may be like in fact) as: 'Where am I?  No thanks...  Oh right....!'!

"Where am I?" What is your Return of Saturn?
Your Return of Saturn is when the planet Saturn moves one full cycle back into the position it was in when you were born.  In other words: it takes roughly 29 years for Saturn to do one trip around the sun, so once you're around the age of 29, Saturn will have spun around in one full cycle and usually brings you many messages, signs, events and a gargantuan pile of psychological upheaval!  I don't want to go scare mongering the poor Wiccan and New Age souls out there, I just want to prepare all of the under-28s for such an event and draft out vers.1.0 of a survival kit based on my experience of my own Saturn Return thus far, which has been challenging.

"No thanks" The inevitable upheaval.
If you want to get picky, it takes Saturn 29.45 years to orbit the sun, but many emphasise that your actual Return of Saturn will clock in before and around this set time as a general period of drastic change, new directions and questioning of your beliefs, habits and desires.  It's very much the time where you ask yourself the following kinds of questions:
"Do I truly want to have children?" if you don't have any already.
"Is this really the job that I want for the rest of my life?"
"Am I really living my life as I ought to?  Should I party more, or settle down?"
"What have I learnt from life thus far, and where do I plan to go into my next cycle of Saturn?"
"Who do I have in my life and why?"
"What are my belief systems and how do they govern my life?"
As you can see, it's generally a time of great questioning to put great changes into your life which have been needed for a great deal of time.

Apparently some of us get through our Return of Saturn having already dealt with a plethora of life altering experiences in our earlier adulthoods which teach us so much already that we flow off each of these experiences to not have to go through such a tough time as many experience during their Saturn Return....  I would have thought that I was one of those lucky few, yet... apparently not.  Such a shame!

"Oh right!" The epiphany of figuring out what it is that you actually need at this time and accepting that you must surrender to it...  So what would I recommend for a Saturn Return Survival Kit?

1. Very carefully scribe down who you really value, who you truly care about and make them a valued part of your life.  If you have periods where you fall down, they will be of such great help to you.  If you feel that your Return of Saturn is affecting you in any way (good or bad), just talk about it.  Ultimately you'll only ever have yourself to truly rely on, but it's nice to have someone to talk to.  If you don't have this, remember that there are charities and other institutions out there that have beautiful people that will listen to you, such as Lifeline (in Australia).
2. You have no choice but to surrender, so write a lot about it to path your way.
3. Mindfulness is always key & meditation will help you to achieve this state of self awareness.
4. If you have the time available, dedicate some of your time to a good cause such as Lifeline (above) or another charity which needs your help.  Certainly don't beat yourself up if you can't dedicate this time: you must honor yourself in this time.
5. Remember what it means to honor yourself and others - hold this thought close to you and let it be your guide.
6. Always remember that no matter what, you will be alright.

I hope this is of some help to some people out there.  As I said before, I make this all sound awfully drastic and what happens depends on each individual person.  For some people this is a wonderfully life affirming time, and for others it's very hard.  This is certainly what I would advise as I'm in the thick of it at the age of 28 for anyone whether you're having a nice experience or not.

Bright blessings everyone.

)O( Elspeth

Where Wicca has lead me

I have a better understanding of the true nature of my mind and how my mind is a part of nature.
I have a stronger understanding of my masculine and feminine qualities which balance my personality.
I feel more comfortable amongst society as a being who is all yet nothing and yet one with all.

I see how certain friends are doing by observing the movements of the crows near my home.
I feel the affects of the moon and the planets as they move around me.
I watch my dreams and meditations as closely as I would my waking life.

My body is a temple and my mind is a field of possibilities.
I have a deeper relationship with my friends and family whether they are pagan or not.
I appreciate the beauty in the world and see the balance of dark and light aspects all around me.

I accept death as a part of our life cycle.
I allow for my shadow to cast itself out in balance to my light.
The world is blessed in every way despite death, darkness and doubt.

The future of this blog

Dear Readers & Enthusiasts of all things Pretty,

I have been absent on and off for some time from this blog but want to reach out some more and include some interviews with other witches, more interactive (I will find how!) posts which ask for your opinion and even more information on how to live as an ethical witch.  Therefore I encourage you to send me in any information which would help to make the Craft as ethical as possible as - apart from sharing beautiful things - I would like it to become a strong theme of this blog.

As ever, I insist that this blog remain free for all readers in every sense: no horrible advertisements and no payment will ever be necessary on any level for you to obtain all of the information here.  I insist on sharing information for free and it will stay that way.  What is posted here will be purely for the benefit of your spirituality, the earth and your hearts.

Of course, if any readers would like to see more of anything, I can see what I can do!  I do work full time and don't get to the blog incredibly often.

Peace, love and blessed be,
)O( Elspeth.

Should teenagers be allowed to dabble with the Craft?

When I started with the Craft when I was about 13/14 I had no idea about how to maturely deal with the ethics of the Craft and what kinds of ramifications could come from my actions.  I started out with some very average books which were not (I believe) taking the ethics of the Craft seriously at all, especially when they actively encouraged you to work spells for love and did nothing to prevent you from doing something against someone's will.  It was much later into my working that I considered doing divinations in order to see where a spell could take me - and as a teenager, you rush into spellworking so quickly, you would never consider setting about using divination to see where your spell could lead you.  Nor did any of those books in my early years teach me about the difference between low magick (i.e: spells to get you what you want, which is often what these books were about) and high magick which helps you to truly develop as a practitioner.

I started thinking about this recently and wondered what everyone's opinions were.  A friend of mine has a long line of Witches in her family and her mother actively discouraged her from experimenting with the Craft as a teenager because teenagers still had to mature into their responsibilities.  I'd have hated it if someone had told me not to do what I found most fascinating, but then I picked up and put down the Craft until I felt truly able to handle it and also see how it could take me out of some bad times as a mature person on a genuine spiritual journey.  I guess if I were the mother to a child who wanted to experiment with the Craft I would have to guide them very carefully myself...  If they told me everything - and would they?  Teenagers can hold burden to so many secrets in their day-to-day living - how could this be managed?

Of course in watching the film The Craft, it's plain to see how magick can get out of hand in the hands of teenagers: they yearn and lust for things which they don't need and just about knock it out of each other's hands to get what they want or what their ego wants.

I would say - as brief as this writing is - that I would not take back the awkward attempts and mistakes of my teenager Crafting years.  They taught me a great deal about my parameters on so many levels and have eventually lead me to a place of balance which I'm proud of.

I would like to know what everyone else thinks - the forum is very much open...

)O( Elspeth

A few stories not dated in the mirror book - Story II: Guan Yu, the Saint of Force

THE MEDITATION (early June 2011)
It was around this period that I was reading the Tibetan Book of Living and Dying and seemed to then engage with Buddhist deities through trance meditation, such as the previous entry on the White Tara from February last year and also with Quan Yin, which I haven't written about as yet.


The meditation began on top of a cloudy mountain, so cloudy that I had to float down through the air cross-legged in order to move into the realm.  I floated above a rocky pathway, down past a Chinese man carrying two pitchers of water across his back and around to the precipice of the mountain leading to many sets of stairs. From the top of the stairs you had an incredible view of the bay below where three waterfalls came into the crescent-shaped bay and fell gracefully from a great height into the ocean.  I continued to float down to the bay as a Chinese soldier with long hair in a ponytail crouched on the sand facing out to the horizon as though he was paying homage.  He wasn't wearing a helmet nor was he wearing anything around his torso at all, as though as a warrior he had removed them for he knew we would not fight and also to relax in his own worship as he meditated on the beach.  He had sharp lines for eyebrows, acne scars on his lower cheeks and had very beautiful long eyes.  He wore the lower half of his warrior suit along with his boots.


"Who are you?" I asked, bowing to him.
"Guan Yu," he replied.
I hadn't heard of this diety before and wasn't sure what to expect from him, but from what I could tell his intentions were pure.  He crouched down again, extending one hand out so that large red playing cards formed a walkway above the ocean, which he invited me to walk over.  I walked over the pathway which lead to a large whirlpool in the ocean which danced above in circles on one of the cards for a time, then I jumped into it.  I danced within the whirlpool and looking up I could see many moons racing above my head as though time was speeding up intensely, hundreds of years passing by.  Then the walls of the whirlpool caved in and I surrendered to its dance, being spun around, accepting a death for a new beginning.  After some time the whirlpool formed again and I came above the surface to see a modern Chinese city where the bay used to be without the hills and its waterfalls.


SYMBOLISM
Three waterfalls: Guan Yu's was a prominent general of the Shu Kingdom in the Three Kingdoms Period, thus the three waterfalls may have symbolised each kingdom coming in to one point.  It may also be symbolic of the three phenomenon truths from the Tientai school which was founded after a disciple met Guan Yin a:

• Dependent reality: A phenomenon is produced by various causes, its essence is devoid of any permanent existence.
• Phenomenal existence: This existence is temporary, and has its limitation.
• Middle: This truth of the middle is equated with true suchness, and it can not be found elsewhere than in phenomena. According to this truth, Dependent reality and Phenomenal existence are one.

And the only way to obtain the full awareness of the above truths is the Three views (or three insights):

• Emptiness: Phenomena posses no independent reality and they can not exist without other factors, therefore nothing is eternal.

• Unreality: Although a phenomenon has the apparent existence of phenomena and can be perceived by the senses, because its nature of emptiness, this phenomenon is temporary and unreal.

• Middle Way: Since a phenomenon is blended of emptiness and unreality, it is incorrect to view the truth in any of the above two poles. The proper action is to view a phenomenon and its parts as a whole, all phenomena are merged and contain one another.

Red Playing Cards: "A well known story of Guan Yu is how he got a poisoned arrowed to the arm and had to get surgery. Guan Yu calmly played a game of solitaire while receiving the needed treatment on his arm (1)."


A VERY SHORT HISTORY OF GUAN YU, CHINESE SOLDIER, 160 to 219AD
Called upon in China to protect social order, Guan Yu was deified as a saint for policemen and I adore one of his many titles "General who rocks the bandits"!  I saw Guan Yu at about the age of 23, which apparently was the age when he ran away from his home town having slain a man who was harassing a woman.  After this age he became a great warrior.  Read more about the life of Guan Yu here.

According to the Buddhist account, in 592, Guan Yu manifested himself one night before the Tripitaka Master Zhiyi, founder of the Tientai school of Buddhism, with a retinue of spiritual beings. Zhiyi was then in deep meditation on Yuquan Hill when he was distracted by Guan Yu's presence. After receiving Buddhist teachings from the master, Guan Yu acquired the Five Precepts. Henceforth he became the guardian of temples and the Dharma. Legends also claim that Guan Yu assisted Zhiyi in the construction of the Yuquan Temple, which still stands today. (2)

Dharma: that which upholds, supports or maintains the regulatory order of the universe means Law or Natural Law and is a concept of central importance in Indian philosophy and religion. As well as referring to Law in the universal or abstract sense dharma designates those behaviours considered necessary for the maintenance of the natural order of things

The five precepts: to abstain from harming living beings, stealing, sexual misconduct, lying and intoxication.

WHAT DID I TAKE FROM THIS?
Well, having only just looked up what the five precepts are, I believe the journey taught me to take better care of myself: by not submitting myself to sexual misconduct by putting myself into dangerous and precarious sexual situations as I have in the past, to not harm others in any way - including in thought, to not steal even the smallest thing - even food, to never lie and be transparent in how I express myself and to not get intoxicated - and thankfully I don't drink!  I have met with him in meditations since with he and I practising sword fighting which I believe suggests the discipline and clarity of mind required for and a result of the five precepts.  Now that I have finally looked up the five precepts I intend to stick with them - and have been very good with those ever since having met this diety anyway, so I certainly hope that was his influence!


Sources:
(1) The Young Polytheistic
(2) And other information on Tientai 

Back in the room... Entering my Saturn return

Well it's been a very long time indeed!  It feels as though so many things have been happening with my craft of late - it really has changed my life for the better: crafting, weaving my way through the world whilst making it better for myself and others.  I think that in a lot of ways, having this form of spirituality has really helped me to grow up by putting my values, love, health and sense of honor first.  I give more and also seem to get more than I need out of life.  I've been away for so long now having gone through a breakup after a three year relationship, sorting out the house, travelling for a month and then finally settling back down in olde Melbourne Town which hasn't come without great trials of course.

These trials have made me realise how important it is to work on my chakras, finding and recognising the blockages which have been making my relationships and expression so stifled.  I found a wonderful book 'The Essential Guide to Chakras' by Swami Saradananda which looks twee but very practically walks you through the function of each chakra, which signs indicate whether you're experiencing excessive or deficient energy in each chakra and even yoga poses for each chakra.  It also encourages you to create a diary to assess each chakra to work on a variety of areas in your life.  I highly recommend it, it's an easy book to digest.

This self assessment is also an important part of my life as I enter my Saturn return - life is throwing challenges at me and I need to cleanse myself, heal and start a lot of things from scratch to gauge what I really need in life as a person.  I've realise the importance of being your own role model and now live by a wonderful latin saying 'Casis tutissima virtus' - "virtue is the safest helmet" which allows me to take great responsibility for my actions.  It's now all about doing the honorable thing.

Now time for more stories....

)O( Elspeth.

A few stories not dated in the mirror book - Story I

The astral accordion - not just heard by me

Aug/Sept 2011

A very cute yet bizarre story from work.: At my work I sit in a hallway.  Just to my right is a meeting room and behind that wall was one of our employees Heather - so as she was talking from two walls away, naturally I couldn't hear the conversation taking place as I worked at my desk.  Two walls away, Heather was talking about a new acquisition of hers: a second hand piano accordion.  As she talked she gestured playing a chord on this accordion with her hands (i.e: with no actual piano accordion in her hands) and a loud, beautiful piano accordion sound blared from directly behind her head - not only did the sound come from behind her head but also behind my head - two rooms away.  I heard this majestic, beautiful sound from behind me where Heather would often stand and chat to make a coffee but nothing was there - at exactly the same time she heard this sound, I also heard this sound behind my head in another room....

My final letter to the coven I used to attend (sent this time last year)

It's quite funny to look back on my past in this way.  A part of the reason I am posting this is because it was 

(a) Deleted from the forum shortly after and hardly anyone got to read it, including many people I'd spent a great deal of loving and spiritual time with;

(b) Those who did not get to read it were told that it was nasty - when it's anything but;

(c) To show those who are still within that coven my true intentions from that time as I seem to have this odd reputation with them; and

(d) In my own way I'd rather like this to be permanently available on the internet so that others can read this and understand what it's like to be a constrained coven experience.

The background to this forum post

The high priestess had, on many occasions, made me feel as though I knew what I was doing throughout my time with her and a callout had been made to coven members for apprentice high priestesses whereby I didn't require any experience to be one.  Having had many years of magickal practice behind me, I thought I'd be a very suitable candidate.  Sadly, I had bought into this hierarchical system and yearned for so much more from the coven and saw this as a great opportunity to fill that gap...  But I think that that gap would have still existed no matter what.  I had spent some time trying to unite members by suggesting events and rites which would harmonise the coven but those suggestions weren't really taken on.  I had also seen this hierarchy become tighter and tighter, with one girl assisting the 'inner circle' to organise events to be told that she was 'lucky to be this close to the inner circle' - egos started to form.  The energy of the coven was no longer particularly friendly.  Apparently, as I wasn't permitted to become an apprentice high priestess I could take the first degree course - when I was in my personal second degree already and knew exactly how to set up my own ritual space and write a ritual already - which is mostly what the course consisted of.  This course went (from memory) for about 6-8 weeks and cost about $120.....  Yep, it costed money to 'cover the expense of materials.'  Something which this Irish witch I had posted earlier this year is dead against, as am I.  

I was certainly glad to have left when I did.  People who are there now are being told that they are not 'allowed' to practice magick with anyone outside of the coven and are being discouraged from performing traditional Wicca.  Some of those who have left have been terribly harassed by the "high" priestess to the point where it's becoming ridiculous - and I'd have to say that without having stated her name on here whatsoever I am very happy to share this information freely and to the public.  I've become sick and tired of seeing people within that coven being treated badly and actually feeling surprised that it's happening to them.

The forum post

It seems contradictory to say that we didn’t need to have any experience, yet now I’ve been asked to go through the first degree course.  I realise I had agreed to do the first degree course and why you’re trying to assimilate what you’ve learnt about running a coven into that.  I just feel that if I “didn’t need experience” to become an apprentice high priestess that I would at least be recognised as having had great life experience from my teaching, lecturing and (on & off) 12 years of experience as a Wiccan.  I thought I would be taught as an apprentice rather than via a first degree course, if you know what I mean.   It’s hard for me to reconcile that in my solitary practice I’m now at the 2nd degree and I think I’ve realised that I want to concentrate on just that, because it’s a lot of hard work.

Perhaps I came here for the wrong reasons.  I had been yearning to learn from others, teach others, grow, and have a more intimate experience and I’ve wanted that since the minute I walked into the coven, and that energy has not changed.

I’m not doing this to have a go at anyone, it’s just that I have to comply to a system which I don’t naturally work with and therefore I shouldn’t hang around and contribute an ounce of negativity which works against the family feel of this coven which could throw it out of balance.  My negativity could hence be felt by others and if anyone wants to view that as my ego, I don’t mind.  Some things just don’t work for some people.

I had put up ‘ideas’ on the website to bring our coven closer socially and spiritually because I felt that we were fragmented, and to be frank: we have been kept that way.  They were, also, just ideas too, and were in mind for the betterment of the coven and not necessarily for me to perform. I have always been passionate about making sure that everyone feels equal – I’m wildly passionate about that in fact, and have been all of my life.  Whilst I understand that you can’t just let some stranger immediately into the ‘inner circle’ I come back to my first point: if I didn’t need a great deal of experience to become an apprentice high priestess then why am I being asked to do the first degree course?

If we are to be teaching one another, why can we not allow for a format which encourages that, or am I getting the wrong end of the stick?  Perhaps my expectations are wildly unrealistic and idyllic to the point of ridiculous.  That ideal seems to be what I want, and perhaps that is best achieved as a solitary witch or within a very small coven.

You're all beautiful, marvellous and remarkable people, but I think it's important to emphasise that I don't want to ruin the energy of the group with my negativity and thus am obliged to step back for the sake of others more so than myself as to not ruin the enjoyment, love and light that this coven provides for others.  I would be a coward if I were to just walk away from the coven without saying a word.  I think, too, that this coven suffers because no-one feels that they can be open and honest about the structure and the system which is handed down to them.  By keeping our mouths shut we’re spreading a very strange, restrained energy that I believe works against the magickal energy that the coven is trying to achieve.  I don’t particularly enjoy writing this, but I’m an honest person and I respect honest people.

Love and light.  In perfect love and perfect trust.  May your paths be fecund, bountiful and radiant with the power of the Goddess.  Keep on being creative and powerful darlings.

)O( Elspeth.

Remember to be grateful

Being conscious of what you ought to be grateful for without attachment
I realise that for some people this post won't apply to them - life can be hard and we all go through periods of our lives we'd rather forget.  I feel that for every good piece of fortune that is thrown my way or I have manifested through the Craft ought to have a moment dedicated to its arrival.  That may mean thanking the diety called upon to manifest the support or needs that I had at the time or just being grateful for coincidences which turn your life around.  I feel that I really ought to gather my sisters soon and have a rite especially dedicated to this.  I think that I feel more like this the more that I meditate - my mind is clearer and sharper and I tend to be more grateful about the positive things that happen in my life.  It's too easy to look at the downside of life and accumulate a list of 'if only' statements from one day to the next.

As you will know, I am very fond of Buddhist thought and have learnt a great deal about their concept of attachment.  My attachment to 'if only' thoughts and my attachment to 'I should feel grateful for' thoughts should in no way define who I am, I just feel as though some more conscious thought towards what we ought to be grateful for will provide a better balance for a calm mind & way of being.

Contributing in hard times - more on ethical living and how I'm changing my lifestyle
A very sharp change of subject here, but I am wanting to air these concerns all the same.  At the same time as making sure I am aware of what I ought to be grateful for, I do feel that I have more work to contribute to Gaia by trying to live the most ethical life that a meat eater can possibly live in this day and age.  There is so much information out there to take in!  With every step I am coming closer to living a more biocentric lifestyle rather than one which is anthropocentric.  I have put some extra cash forward to buy some cloth pads from Wise Woman Pads which I've tried and tested, and they wash incredibly well.  They don't make your menstrual flow smell either, it just smells like blood.  They're also the most reasonably priced ones on the market and come in the best patterns.  Whilst the economy is also suffering a major blow - yet again - it's a great time to set aside money especially to support local businesses if you can manage.  The smaller, locally owned organic stores who are more likely to sell ethical, wholesome and natural products ought to be sustained during this time if only for the cosmetics that they sell if you are to buy everything else from the supermarket.  That way we are supporting locally owned businesses and will be helping to keep our local community members employed, selling products which are often hard to find otherwise.  As you know I'm a non-materialistic witch and have been cutting down on buying new candles, props or any oils which are not ethically sourced.  Instead of buying a variety of coloured candles I'm buying Australian made plain beeswax candles which have a beautiful natural smell and feel to them.  If I buy furniture in the near future I aim to buy second hand furniture to avoid cutting down more trees, and have considered buying more second hand clothing to cut down on carbon emissions created from the manufacturing of new clothes - the more second hand, the better in many ways!  Fewer new trees will get cut down and less energy is put towards the product.

Show your gratitude to your deity by thanking them for their support & give Gaia as much of your support as you can for everything that she has ever given you.

Really do check out Wise Woman Pads - Judith does an amazing job.

Blessed Be,
)O( E.

Recent thoughts & things I believe that Wiccans ought to consider

A lot of people might not like this particular post, but I am constantly questioning Wicca.  Whilst there are parts of Wicca which I love, I think I have become particularly jaded of late from having experienced a variety of circles where it only takes one character to mess with everyone else's heads in what usually turns out to be a petty power game.  I do have close sisters whom I cherish and love, and I wouldn't take any of it back.

Within every religion I've found that there are several kinds of people: the empowered who actually want to create positive change rather than being obsessed with power over others; the cowards who stand behind their religion to excuse their messed up games and bizarre actions and of course the pathetic power-hungry people who are compensating for the hole in their heart, never satisfied with healthy empowerment alone - they are greedy for more, more and more power and love to play with your sense of self worth.  Then often when you have problems with one another you can either choose to talk about them partly in Wiccan/New Age terms or like normal people - and the conversations are rarely 'normal' and as mentioned before, some people love to stand behind their faith & twist their intentions.  It's a difficult game.

You might have previously read my post about why a hierarchy doesn't work & why you ought to avoid it at all costs.   If you do choose to enter a circle, I'd highly recommend that you read up on the Buddhist concept of attachment so that you are able to retain a sense of reality & realistic distance from any situations which arise.  I'd highly recommend that - if you can all manage to be organised enough - that you have a mediation process set up in advance for when things start to fall apart.

Issues I believe that other Wiccans ought to consider:

• Materialism, altruism and true spirituality: Other religions are setting up charities such as The Salvation Army & The Red Cross - are you donating to a cause or (if you have no money) actively making a difference within society?  Being spiritual ought to always inherently involve some altruism outside of its own faith.  Put back to the earth, clean up your streets and get involved in your community.  I get sick of seeing neophytes feeling like they can't practice magick and hence be a spiritual person because they need to buy 'stuff' for their altar - props which are beautiful (and I can't talk, I own so many!) but you can do without.  Do you think that the gods will punish you for not buying the $50 bottle of liquor to put on your altar as an offering?  Isn't your love and dedication enough?  This is something I fail to understand - it's beautiful when someone gives an offering, but it's hard when you judge others because they can't afford it or just don't really see that it's that necessary.  I like to offer incense, fruit & prayers if I can (depending on who it is) but would I get hit by lightning & have the Threefold Law beat me down with an iron hammer if I didn't do that?  I don't think so.  Clearly not everyone would agree with me on that.  It's more important to make a contribution to society than it is to make sure that you can somehow obtain a rare ornament/talisman within two weeks of an upcoming ritual then feel like a failure for not having obtained it.  I have started to meet gods and goddesses during deep meditations, see whether I can work with them (upon asking their name), work with them and then have another ritual especially to thank them.  
• Honesty gains respect:  Reassess your values regularly and be honest about them - so many people hide behind their faith & its dogma.  What do you truly believe and what would you like the world to be like?  They are often two separate things.  What can you do as a Wiccan to obtain the world that you desire?  Remember that light & darkness, negativity & positivity and the rest make up for the natural balance of life - so would you really change all that much?  Just as Thelemites attempt to find their True Will by being completely and unabashedly honest about who they are - who are you outside of your faith?  Would you have more respect for a bluntly spoken Thelemite or the Wiccan who insists that everything is beautiful and amazing 100% of the time?  There needs to be a balance of who you are along with your beliefs or you have lost yourself.

I hope that wasn't too painful for anyone - it was almost like me venting some things which get on my nerves!

)O( Elspeth

Achieving a sincere balance by combining methods

Lately I am really dedicating myself to Scott Cunningham's thirteen methods to push myself in my craft and to achieve general balance for my overall wellbeing which is working out really well.  The Buddhist Noble Eightfold Path is also mentioned in my post where it is compared to the Threefold Law which I believe helps to strengthen the Threefold Law and our understanding of it - especially if you are only just beginning to learn the craft which you can read here.


This entry is really a regurgitation of previous entries and I like to emphasise them to see whether the reader is also keeping on track and also to push myself further.  I've joined the gym again and meditate every morning for half an hour which is proving to be wonderful before I go to work for a clear mind.  I have found a job working for a environmental conservation society to achieve the 'Right Livelihood' as mentioned in the Buddhist Eightfold Path and also am dedicating myself to right mindfulness and concentration.  I feel that the Wiccan version need to emphasise more in regards to kindness towards others, yourself and your planet.  Naturally by Celebrating Life, Honoring the Goddess and God & Keeping Your Words in Good Order you could achieve this somewhere amongst it but I feel that it needs to be explicitly outlined.  I feel that Achieving Balance could also hint towards treating people equally and advocating equality amongst society rather than just your own personal balance.


Concentrating on Mindfulness has been great, as noted in The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying when you eat you eat & when you sleep you sleep - without any distracting thoughts which could carry you away from the now so that you can experience the enjoyment of being completely present in whatever it is you are doing.


I am now also finding ways to assimilate my artistic practice into my craft to challenge reoccurring nightmares and retain my mindfulness.  Some works as like charged talismans and others are more like antidotes or spells to things which I want challenged in my life.


I feel that all of this is really helping to relieve a lot of anger, frustration and stress in my life by walking a much more careful and considerate path so that my energy is purely kind & gentle rather than creating energy which can be negatively absorbed by others.  I do feel a lovely sense of wellness, balance and happiness thanks to this dedication which I know I can keep up.


Blessed Be,
)O( E


SCOTT CUNNINGHAM'S THIRTEEN GOALS OF A WITCH

1. Know yourself

2. Know your craft

3. Learn

4. Apply knowledge with wisdom

5. Achieve balance

6. Keep your words in good order

7. Keep your thoughts in good order

8. Celebrate life

9. Attune with the cycles of the earth

10. Breathe and eat correctly

11. Exercise the body

12. Meditate

13. Honor the Goddess and God

THE BUDDHIST NOBLE EIGHTFOLD PATH

1. Right View. The right way to think about life is to see the world through the eyes of the Buddha--with wisdom and compassion.
2. Right Thought. We are what we think. Clear and kind thoughts build good, strong characters.
3. Right Speech. By speaking kind and helpful words, we are respected and trusted by everyone.
4. Right Conduct. No matter what we say, others know us from the way we behave. Before we criticize others, we should first see what we do ourselves.
5. Right Livelihood. This means choosing a job that does not hurt others. The Buddha said, "Do not earn your living by harming others. Do not seek happiness by making others unhappy."
6. Right Effort. A worthwhile life means doing our best at all times and having good will toward others. This also means not wasting effort on things that harm ourselves and others.
7. Right Mindfulness. This means being aware of our thoughts, words, and deeds.
8. Right Concentration. Focus on one thought or object at a time. By doing this, we can be quiet and attain true peace of mind.

New Moon in Aries (Mars) Reflection

As a witch, I am aware that I am going through many changes, alterations and maturing into the path.  My abilities are stronger than what they once were and the responsibility that walks hand-in-hand with it is becoming more apparent over time.  I'm more able to take a step back and inspect my beliefs from an outer perspective to the point where I feel like I can provide stable advice to others and be a more receptive learner.  I'm more fond of wearing black and have started to balance with my dark goddess energy who knows when to keep silent.  I certainly feel that I have been very inward and could do with taking this new moon energy in order to flip that around a bit.


I really feel that I have benefitted from reading The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying, and was about 150 pages in when my boyfriend accidentally left it on the plane on the way to Tasmania.  Once I've read that I can give you all a full review, but it would take a while!  I'd still highly recommend it even though I'm only part way through.


The new moon is a time of reflection - looking back on the last moon phase and looking forward to the rising, waxing moon energy, setting your own personal goals towards the full moon.  I feel like I can be more honest and relaxed with people and possibly with myself.


I have been so inwardly silent that I haven't even written here for quite some time!  Not to mention that I have also been very busy.


I really felt Mars entering Aries on the 1st of April all but two days ago as I am more driven, clear-thinking and charged for all of the challenges lying ahead with this Arien energy!  It is a time to take charge & proclaim in the new moon what kind of elements of your character need strengthening from the Mars energy that is coming to the fore.  You need to understand your motivations in order to strengthen your character, so inspect those motivations in order to move forward to strengthen yourself as the moon's energy waxes.

"Mars enters Aries on April 1 at 9:51 p.m. PDT (April 2 at 12:51 a.m. EDT) and will stay through May 11th. While in Aries, Mars will align with the following celestial bodies (all dates reflect North America Pacific time zone; allow +/-2 days for life span of influence):

§ April 3 ~ Mars conjunct Uranus. Nothing is as it seems. Openness to unconventional solutions, even to the most common problems. Pushing for one's desires. Aggressiveness. Unpredictable behavior. Be extra careful when traveling, even short distances. Also today, the New Moon in Aries with both Sun and Moon oppose Saturn-rx.

§ April 11 ~ Mars square Pluto. Power struggles. Everyone wants to be the boss/everyone seems bossy. No one seems to want to listen or reason or discuss. Tempers fly. No one wants to budge. Standstill. Agreeing to disagree. Elsewhere in the sky, Mercury-rx conjunct Jupiter and conversations/ideas can easily be blown out of proportion.

§ April 18 & 19 ~ Mars oppose Saturn-rx and Mercury-rx conjunct Mars. A chance to get things accomplished. Commitment and hard work are required, though. Simply starting something without a good plan will most likely fail when obstacles present themselves. Think first before acting.

§ April 30 to May 1 ~ Mars conjunct Jupiter. A little braver to try out something new. More optimistic of succeeding or arriving at desired results. Believing in the dream coming true. Making a go of things. Elsewhere in the sky, Venus oppose Saturn-rx."

Information via Astrogrrl - thanks Honor!

A new bow to my arrow... Or a new arrow to my bow?

Developments of late have been incredibly interesting.  I know that I ought to meditate every day but still only seem to manage it three times a week and do a visualisation about once a month, as Mondays for some reason are not as free as they used to be, partly because my boyfriend often has that night off.


The visualisations have been great challenges as a form of high magick, making me challenge parts of my psychology that need addressing - much like if I were being hypnotised and had to go through different 'doors' in my mind to adjust my thinking where necessary for a better magickal and mundane life.  It's there that I meet Gods and Goddesses to guide me there and then, however my meditations have been working out to be very interesting for those to help me within my day-to-day life.


Without calling out to them, I know that in the near future that I will want to carry out a spell in order to move ahead in some way in my life.  Meeting the White Tara is a wonderful example of this, and I had a wonderful meeting with Queen Mab the other day which was also completely unexpected, in order for me to have a Goddess to work with for cord cutting (see  post below for details on that).


Meeting Queen Mab or Maeve was really interesting.  I knew that the Archangel Michael was not really the one I wanted to work with as I see Angel worship as being more of a Christian concept so I wanted to choose someone else.  But, as it would seem, I needn't open a book these days in order to find the right leader to guide me as it's now a regular to-do for them to offer their help, which really is much better I think.  Then you are receiving the energy which will work best for you - the calm white tara for protection and to move through the ocean of suffering, and strong and beautiful Maeve with her sword for when you need to boldly - yet gently cut cords.


It was interesting: on the day that I wanted to do the ritual (on a Tuesday for war, psychic protection etc) I went to the usual meditation temple, into the sculptued foot of Hermes Trimegistus.  Normally I will look out to the beach and turn around to the giant sculpted foot, then entering past a skeleton of Hermes Trimegistus who gives me 'The Emerald Tablet' in the form of a green book where I walk through to an inner temple to meditate.


However, no-one seemed to be in the normal hall and a new hallway had created itself to the right hand side which had mint green walls & black and white tiles, which I thought was odd. I went to the medieval looking door and went to open it but was too hesitant so Hermes Trimegistus opened it for me (was there as a living green version sitting on some stairs that went upstairs - now I'm wondering what's upstairs!). Anyway, for a while before approaching this door I could hear a preternatural talking, which consisted of loud notes sung long and loud, just single notes. 

The door opened to a long wooden medieval table setting with lots of little green men on it who were still doing that weird talking and eating, which reverberated up the high dark wooden walls to the stained glass windows above. They looked like Yoda but with smaller ears, bigger eyes and only wore pants - little green men! A woman in medieval garb rose from the table and I bowed, not sure who it was. "Your majesty" I said, which I never say in visualisation or meditation. I bumbled a bit, and the rest was a bit of a fuzz as far as conversation went. I basically agreed that we would work together for the cord cutting and had all faith in her in her pride, zeal and strength. She wore incredible, dark makeup - almost like a goth. She wore the medieval horn-like headdress and exuded a voluptuous power. She then returned to the table to continue eating as I left thanking her again and again and the green men piped up again.

I remember looking at Queen Mab or Maeve with a friend a few weeks ago as we summoned her for a full moon ritual. 

In relation to the black and white tiles described above, I had a read of a ritual in 'Advanced Witchcraft' by Edain McCoy in her 'Advanced Warding and Psychic Defense' chapter, with a ritual called 'The Checkered Box' where the practitioner encloses themselves in black and white tiles. I thought I'd cut the cord then just close myself up for additional insurance.  I might publish my version of the Cord Cutting ritual, though I think it will only really be the same as the article I posted earlier.


After all of this, my mother sent me my March horoscope by Jonathan Cainer and I just about fell over (I'm a Taurean by the way):


Is that a little fairy, sitting on your shoulder? Or is it a guardian
angel, hovering over your head? Maybe it's a wish-granting leprechaun,
an ancient Tibetan or a spirit guide from the medicine wheel. I can't
be sure which form your cosmic protection is due to take but it's
clear that, in March, something is going to be looking after you. You
are being offered support, succour and sustenance, some of which may
take a decidedly unambiguous physical form. I'm not promising
miracles. There may be ups as well as downs. But the ups will be real.
They will last much longer and prove far more important than the
downs!


So given meeting Queen Mab - Queen of the Faeries and a Tibetan Goddess recently this is all sounding too interesting.


)O( Elspeth.

Meeting the White Tara

A few days ago I had a wonderful meditative experience.  This is particularly interesting after having spent some time reading The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying of late.  As per usual, when I meet a new character in these meditations I usually haven't a clue who they are.  Normally my meditations lead me to a temple of Hermes Trimegistus - a large stone, sandalled foot broken at the ankle to what would have been a massive statue of Hermes Trimegistus facing out to the ocean.  This time though, I remained facing out to the ocean with my back to the temple and the waves started to behave strangely, curling in an unusual way.  The sun was directly in front of me on the horizon like the morning sun and the moon was directly above my head.  From the horizon I could start to see the waters parting and slowly, a beautiful woman with long wavy white hair, a Nepalese face covered in white clay in an all-white costume came towards me very calmly, serenely.  I patiently waited for her and she embraced me in a beautiful hug, where she then proceeded to put me on like a piece of clothing by slipping her hand through my back like a puppet with the rest of her body following until we were merged as the one being.  I felt the coolness of water throughout me, a white glow and wonderful feeling of peace.  Who was this Goddess?  I then looked her up...

Sometimes called Mother of the Buddhas, White Tara is meant to have so much compassion for humankind that she exudes more love than a mother for her child.  Tibetan Buddhists refer to her as the Mother of Liberation as the word Tara itself is derived from the root 'tri' (to cross), hence the implied meaning:' the one who enables living beings to cross the Ocean of Existence and Suffering'.   She protects her followers on their spiritual journey to enlightenment, particularly to overcome obstacles which may inhibit the practice of religion. 

Many myths surround her, but always as an incredibly pious character whether those stories had her derive from an actual person or purely in the form of deity.  One myth tells of the White Tara being born from the tear of Avalokiteschvara, also known as Chenzering, who the Dalai Lama is a reincarnation of.  One day Avalokiteshvara looked upon the world with such compassion that he began to cry over the suffering of mankind in its imbalance.  Tears from each eye created the White Tara and Green Tara respectively.  Another similar myth states that Avalokiteshvara cried an entire lake where a fully opened lotus formed and the White Tara emerged like Venus from her shell, as did Green Tara’s lotus, but not completely open.  White Tara was born into the world to relieve suffering and provide longevity to her followers for the long journey through the Ocean of Suffering.

Green Tara, with her half-open lotus, represents the night, and White Tara, with her lotus in full bloom, symbolizes the day. Green Tara embodies virtuous activity while White Tara displays serenity and grace. Together, the Green and White Taras symbolize the unending compassion of the goddess who labors day and night to relieve suffering. (1)

Some believe that the Green and White Taras represented ancient royalty:

In seventh-century Tibet, Tara was believed to be incarnated in every pious woman. She especially came to be associated with two historical wives of the first Buddhist king of Tibet, Srong-brtsan-sgam-po (d. 649). His wife from imperial China was said to be an incarnation of White Tara, while the king's Nepalese wife was an incarnation of Green Tara. It may be that the desire to regard both these pious women as incarnations of Tara led to the concept of the goddess's green and white forms.

She is pictured as being endowed with seven eyes (on the palms of the hands, soles of the feet, and her forehead) to symbolize the watchfulness of the compassionate mind.

White Tara mantra

(text in Tibetan Uchen)

Oṃ Tāre Tuttāre Ture Mama Ayuḥ Punya Jñānā Puṣtiṃ Kuru Svāhā

Pronounced

“Omm Taraye, Tuttaraye Tooraye

Mahmah Aryoob Punya-Gnyana Pooshtim Kuru Swa-ha”

My interpretation of this chant:

Praise to Tara, Hail!  May I be blessed with wisdom, happiness & long life.  May my experiences teach the importance of living ethically and with wisdom.  May the merit my actions of compassion and devotion be felt by others, in their hearts and amongst all of nature itself.  May we all feel the wealth of these efforts. For those who live with such compassion and merit will always live in Kuru - make it so!  I will take into me the serenity and grace of White Tara in her love, compassion and piety.  Blessed Be.

Om = It represents the energy at the Ajna chakra , the third eye energy center (chakra), where the feminine and masculine currents become joined and consciousness becomes Unitary .. into the Whole Unity of existence. You will have noticed that all Mantras begin with Om .This is because Om is the supreme sound
from which creation was born.  It is the Cosmic vibration.  Om is the sound that reveals all other wordsand their different meanings.  Om also has a luminous nature and reveals things.  Hence we must first contact the power of  Om for
other mantras to work and for their specific meanings to be known.  We must first contact Om to know the Guru or  Divine guiding power within us.
Therefore “Om Tāre Tuttāre Ture” = Praise to Tara, Hail!

Mama = mine.  You or you would like your friend to have long life, merit, wisdom and happiness.

Ayuh is long life (as in Ayurvedic medicine).

Punya = the merit that comes from living life ethically, and this merit is said to help one to live long and happily.

Jnana = wisdom.

Punya and Jnana are known as the Two Accumulations. In order to become enlightened we need to accumulate merit (that is, to develop positive qualities through living ethically and meditating) but we also need to develop wisdom through deep reflection. Wisdom cannot arise without a basis of merit, but merit alone is not enough for us to become enlightened, meaning that becoming a nicer person isn’t enough — we have also to look deeply into ourselves and the world around us and to see the impermanent and insubstantial nature of all things.

Pushtim = wealth, abundance, or increase.

Kuru is a mythical land to the north of the Himalayas, which was said to be a land of long life and happiness (it may have been the original northern home of the aryans). Perhaps the association with the mythical realm of Kuru doesn’t hurt when doing the mantra. But (and with due thanks to Arpad Joo’s comment below) it’s also a verb form meaning “do it!” or “make it so!” (second person singular active imperative or the root k.r if that’s of any interest to you) which is what it means here. The “make it so!” refers back to an increase in wisdom, merit, and long life (for the practitioner). We’re imploring White Tara for these things so that we can gain enlightenment and help all sentient beings.

svaha = an exclamation meaning “hail” or “may blessings be upon” and is a common ending to Buddhist mantras. So after making the rather bold request of White Tara above, we end with an equally emphatic salutation.

Sources:

http://www.whitetara.com

http://www.wildmind.org/mantras/figures/whitetara

http://www.religionfacts.com/buddhism/deities/tara.htm

Direct quote from

http://community.livejournal.com/goddess_files/2468.html

Text from:

http://www.visiblemantra.org/white-tara.html 

Image from:

White Tara Sadhana