Friday, March 28, 2014

Desired Home XXI

Zuglegit, Budapest

The stop as it stands today
via Hampage

On Silence

As many of you may have read before, a witch must know 'when to be silent.'  I've seen this interpreted in many ways over the years, from being silent about our practice so that it remains a mystery system, not revealing too much about your practice or in regards to remaining silent over your identity as a witch and to conceal the identity of your fellow witches.

I've have had to recently be careful about all of the above. My biggest lesson over the past year has been over what I reveal to whom, because not everyone is understanding or helpful.  I noticed that older witches rarely divulged detailed information about their practice and began to understand why - because other witches who wanted to bring them down could use that against them - a harsh reality, but also true.  I've ended up sharing experiences that I gain through group ritual, then only telling close friends about fascinating results I have had during solitary experiences.

I think to begin with, it's great to bounce your ideas off of other witches to gain some guidance and insight into the direction of your practice.  I can't imagine the past 5 years without having those conversations which lead to certain rituals, books and helped to unravel more understanding about the rationale behind the practice of other witches - whose ethics, ideas and ideals may be entirely different to mine.  They have opened up my world.

Also, during this time I have ended up with mentors who have made me a better and more confident practitioner who encouraged me to learn a healing modality which lead to my clairvoyant healing and opened up my psychic abilities and I've felt so held by them.

I have found that I can take many friends and family on my journey and explain my story, but that one story completely shakes them up - even though they have heard equally strange things from me before - which leads me to retract and only tell certain people my story.  This blog, in essence, is likely to become less detailed and I'm still to consider how I treat this space.  It's a moving feast of my path as I walk it.

It's really odd what people will put down and sniff at when you explain your practice and its results.  In bringing this up with a friend the other day, he recalled a quote from the bible which I felt was perfect for this article, relating directly to those people who either put down your practice or suddenly slander it very unexpectedly and unfairly:

'Do not give what is holy to dogs, and do not throw your pearls before swine, or they will trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.'

Only you are the true judge of your own practice.

I feel that I have really had my hand at trying to assimilate my practice into society and have it understood, but in truth, it's only really worthwhile keeping amongst other witches.  Despite shamans, druids and witches having been around for many hundreds to thousands of years, it makes sharing our story no easier.  I don't want to sound overtly negative, I'm just sharing my own lesson.

I just entered a new job with lovely people and for the first time in a while, have made no reference to my practice nor do I have a single crystal on my desk or pentagram around my neck.  I need this to be my own personal journey now and not be judged for it with people saying "Well have you seen that image before this vision?" or "It's probably just something else," despite all evidence to the contrary - including other people seeing exactly what you have seen in the astral.  In some ways it seems a shame, but in my other jobs it has created suspicion (though few were suspicious) and now I'm cloaked and concealed away from the judgement.  For others who don't practice, if you say that you see something in their present situation, future or past they can feel suddenly invaded upon or they could feel that you are putting your ego first by showing off your psychic abilities and putting that first before the situation you're looking into.  I cringe to admit that there have been a few occasions where I have done that.

There is a great deal of vulnerability in telling other work mates about your practice as you're locked in that one space every day, five days a week.  If you end up with other people knowing about your practice, they could judge you for "What kind of magick could she do around this situation to get what they want?" and I don't need that around me anymore despite being clear about my practice to get rid of doubts.  I'm also not fond of how people will look at a Buddhist (and I am guilty of this too) and judging them every time they seem to step out of parameters of their ethics.  I even had a boss who pushed to me that if I were a good witch I would contribute to better morale in the office and be a leader - though everyone was as equally unhappy and found it hard to motivate others to lift the morale as a team.  It felt rather unfair to be judged on that level rather than as a human being who found that space as equally toxic as the next person and suffered for it as equally as the next staff member...  And more so as someone who really was fighting to make it a better workplace but had in all honesty given up.

I enjoy now being in a workplace where I am judged as a person on an equal level to everyone else, rather than trying to make myself be treated equally as a witch.  In some ways it was great fun, but I have my own witches to reflect my practice with and great friends who truly support me.  

In many ways, my day to day efforts for feminism and environmentalism are more important within the context of what I contribute towards society to contribute to the bigger picture.  Yes, I do do clairvoyant healings on individuals, but in many ways, the best ethics I can bolster within everyday conversation are related to feminism and environmentalism.  My practice is my own, my experiences are real and I don't need the approval of certain people to feel okay - it would just be nice to see witches be open about their beliefs and practice to the every day man.......  But do we have to?

)O( Elspeth